


Demons and Forever

by FairyNiamh



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Delusions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Murder-Suicide, Some Humor, Tragedy, Trope Bingo Round 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: The day started with biting their lips trying not to laugh...
Relationships: Riley Finn/Buffy Summers, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris/Spike
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fifteen





	Demons and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This story totally did not go where I expected. *holds out tissues* You're in for an extremely weird ride.

"OK... well... if you say so," Xander said with a snort. The man had obviously been hit in the head one too many times. 

Riley looked like he was going to explode as he yelled, "I am not lying! There is a demonic deer-like creature out there and it is after me."

"Riley, how many drinks did say you had?" Buffy asked delicately. 

"None! Why won't you believe me? I mean, just look at these hoof prints. These are demonic prints," Riley said while pulling his shirt over his head.

"Looks like deer prints, mate,” Spike conceded.

The military man just nodded. Happy that someone acknowledged his plight. "Right, so what did this demon look like?"

The man looked at the Watcher with wide eyes, "Like a deer, only lots bigger." 

"Did it run on two legs or four?" Giles could not believe that he was entertaining this nonsense. 

"Well it stood on two legs while it was pummeling me, but it ran after me on four,” the man confessed. 

"Oh, hey, maybe it was a possessed deer! Like, demon possessed maybe," Willow said. Even she couldn't bring herself to believe what she had said.

"Giles _are_ there any... deer-like demons that you know of?" Buffy asked in hopes that she could somehow make it out of this meeting without laughing her ass off at her boyfriend's tall tale.

"Not that I am aware of. Perhaps the deer was frightened by him... or was challenging him. It is mating season, you know,” the Watcher rationalized. 

"Mating season? Why would that make a deer attack me? I wasn't out there to hump a deer! I was hunting demons,” he asked in a panic.

"Perhaps it was courting you, mate," Spike choked out, while trying to muffle his laugh on Xander's back.

"You will all be sorry and come begging for my help when this demon starts attacking helpless humans," the hurt soldier yelled, while limping out of the magic box in a huff.

"I can see the headlines now: 'Army Tough Guy Trampled by Rutting Deer' more news at 10," Xander chimed, right before losing it.

The others stood and watched the two lovers laugh themselves into tears. Well, it's not that they could blame them, Riley was more than a little twitchy... and possessed a less than average IQ when it came to demons.

"Oh, do stop rolling around on the floor you two. It wasn't that funny," Giles sighed while cleaning his glasses.

"Can we make out instead?" Xander asked while wiping away his tears of mirth.

"Eww no! Giles remind them of the no gay touching during the meetings!" Buffy cried out.

"Oi, you let Red and Glenda do the gay touching, so why can't we? You're sexist, you are,” Spike poked at the Slayer. 

"I'm not sexist! Their touching doesn't gross me out; yours and Xander's does,” she exclaimed with a visible shudder. 

"Way to go Buffster, you finally decide to come over to the gay side, then. I like the gay side, it has cookies!" Xander quipped with a smile.

"Has more than cookies, mate," Spike whispered into Xander's ear.

"True, it also has the sexiest men... and the most beautiful women, if you're into that,” he firmly declared as he wrapped his arms around his lover's neck.

"Stop it you two! I'm not joining the gay parade! I swear the water has been tainted or something. First Willow, then Giles, now you two! I need an anti-gay vaccine. Do they make those Giles?" Buffy pleaded.

The Watcher looked at her and sighed for what felt like the 100th time. "I wouldn't know."

"Well Buffy, considering your record and taste in men, maybe you _should_ try the whole gay thing. I'll help! I helped gay Xander up, I can help you too. The college has this group..." Willow attempted to help her friend. 

"Stop, don't say it! No gaying the Buffy up! Buffy is a very straight girl who likes a little ding with her dong,” she huffed and stomped her foot. 

"That would explain Riley. You thump his head and it goes ding and I've walked in on him... he definitely has a little dong, as well," Xander said while pulling himself off the floor.

"I thought I was the only man you looked at,” Spike choked out and actually looked hurt.

"You are! I saw Soldier Boy _before_ we got together. I was thinking about seducing him until I saw that. It's no wonder you want to come over to the gay side... I mean it must be like sleeping with a butch girl already,” Xander held his finger and thumb about an inch apart, indicating the size of the man's penis… or lack thereof. 

"It's not the size that matters... it's the motion in the ocean," Buffy said in defense of her boyfriend.

"Yeah, but if you put a dinghy in the ocean it's bound to capsize when the waters get a little disturbed, and I can't believe I just said that," Willow replied with a blush.

"All right children, Buffy, why don't you go and look for this... demonic deer. Now mind, if it is demonic, kill it,” the Watcher directed. 

The witch rushed in to add, "But if it's not a demon, you better let it alone or Artemis might get pissed and you do not want to piss off a Goddess."

"Exactly. Willow and Tara you can search the computer while I search through the books."

"What about us? What can Spike and I do?"

"I'll think about it... just sit there for a minute. Buffy go," Giles said sternly while waiting for his Slayer to leave. He let out a loud sigh of relief once she left before turning to the two remaining boys. "You two really must stop antagonizing her."

"She shouldn't make it so easy for us, mate."

"Yes, well I think I know exactly what to put your excess energies to."

Spike perked up and muttered, "Shagging?"

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of dressing up and antagonizing that oaf who keeps barging in here with tall tales. I swear last time it was a skunk. Stink demon indeed, if that boy had only watched where he was putting his oversized feet he would not have stepped on that poor creature's tail. However, I digress, Spike why don't you and Xander go and show Riley around. Take him to LA, maybe visit Caritas and I think a trip to the Red Dawn is in order as well."

"Red Dawn? You sure about that?"

"Positive. The sooner he sees some real demons the sooner he will leave us alone."

"Spike can take him to the Red Dawn there is no way I am going there again."

"Why not? It's a perfectly respectable bar."

"Where I got groped, propositioned, and manhandled... and that was _before_ I got in the bar. Not going there again."

"Very well, then just take him to the Caritas that should be enough, who knows perhaps Lorne or some other demon will take to him... and kidnap him."

"Any rules G-man or is this an anything goes trip?" Xander asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. 

"No having sex with him, no killing him, or allowing him to be killed or raped. Think you two can handle that?”

Spike snorted at the request. The young man was more verbose about his denial. “We can't promise anything. That idiot jumps into situations, guns blazing, and his big mouth running and _you_ want us to _intentionally_ take him to a bar known for its demonic patronage. You want someone to die.”

The Watcher sighed, the vampire had a point. Which pained him to admit, “I simply thought that letting him see how normal some demons are, that it would mellow him out.”

This time it was Xander's turn to sigh. “Giles, I am friends with an awesome witch tag team. I routinely hang out with a vampire slayer, and my future husband and father of my children _IS_ a vampire. I am a simple human. What is normal about any of this?”

“Husband? Children?” Spike whispered, looking surprised and happy at the same moment. 

The young man widened his eyes and whispered, ‘oops,’ before he shyly turned to his lover. “I wanted to make this more romantic, but… William, Spike, love of my life. Would you do me the honor and become my husband?” he asked as he slipped a simple band on the vampire's finger. 

Said vampire stared at the ring as if it was the answer to all his dreams. “Yes, bloody hell, yes! Oi Watcher, Army man can get stuffed, ‘cause I have an engagement to announce, a wedding to plan, an' a fiancée ta shag senseless.” He pulled Xander to him and kissed him soundly. 

Who cares about a fake demon deer or delusional idiots, when you finally have a future to plan?

The human laughed as his fiancée had tugged him out of the Magic Box and toward their apartment. Once they were in the graveyard Xander stopped and pulled Spike in for a kiss. “There is something important that we need to discuss.“

Spike stood there and blinked, “What's more important than shagging?”

The young man smiled waned, “After we're married, we need to move out of the country. Maybe Germany or China.“

“You just signed a lease on the flat and got a better job. What gives, pet?” 

“In want our marriage to be forever. Not just until death do we part,” the human said honestly. 

“Xan, the bite would change you. You lose your soul, and I happen to have fallen in love with that part of you. I can't do that to you. Not without a damned good reason,” the blond confessed. 

“Okay, sorry. I just… I love you, Spike, and my mortality scares me. Life is filled with so many what ifs.”

“Yeah, like, what if I want to celebrate our engagement by shagging you crossed eyed?“ the vampire countered. 

The human laughed and followed his fiancée, who regretted not stopping just a little while longer to savor the moment. For not taking the time to listen to the laughter, the worries of the man he loved, and appreciate what he had. Because what he had was taken from him by the deranged, trigger happy, soldier. 

A soldier who thought that his wonderful human had summoned his imaginary deer demon, he shot him in the heart and head to make the demons go away.

Spike screamed in anguish and rage. He knew that Xander was beyond his reach, the bite would not save his love. Buffy had seen her friend fall and looked for the assailant. She was utterly broken and confused o see that the man she liked looking at the scene before him with pride.

“What the fuck? How… why?” she wailed, not sure which direction to go. Her friend, her lovely goofy friend, was dead. She wanted to kill Riley, but he was human. Where Spike was a vampire, a being she was made to kill, was breaking her heart with his desperate attempt to bring back his love.

Someone must have called the police. She could hear the man exclaiming he was a hero for killing the person who summoned the demon deer. She had never wanted to kill someone as badly as she wanted to kill him. 

In the weeks that followed everyone was numb to everything. It was discovered that Riley had been giving himself steroid shots laced liberally with heroin and was high when he killed Xander. His apologies fell on deaf ears of hurt angry people. 

Willow wanted to resurrect her friend, but everyone talked her down… especially since he had been an organ donor and cremated. 

Spike stood on a tarp, in the graveyard, at the spot his fiancée was to be interred. He smiled sadly as the rest of the Scooby gang showed up together. 

“Slayer, I need a favor,“ he said quietly.

The blonde sniffed and nodded her head.

“Put my ashes with Xander's? He's alone and I was going to pledge forever with him, he can't be alone.”

“I'm not going to stake you, Spike. I know it hurts, but I can't help you commit suicide. Haven't we lost enough? “ she asked with tears streaming down her face.

The vampire gave her a sad smile. “No stake needed, just your promise.”

That is when they realized that, even though everyone was broken, the sun still rose. The vampire was dust before anyone could react. They carefully placed his ashes with the man's and buried the urn. 

Since Spike had never had a headstone, they the store read: Ale(Xander) and William (Spike) Harris, together in life and death. No birth date, just the dates they had first got together and the date they were put together, forever. 

They held a small gathering, at night, when the headstone was placed. Even Angel attended. No words needed. After all, everything has an end.

-fin-


End file.
